Sunday, July 17, 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Take me Out to the ballgame!
Take me out to the ball game??
No thank you?
More like Make me go out to the ball game!
Ah! The price of motherhood!
btw the following are photos taken by my extremely bored 6 yr old twins who I kept occupied when I allowed them to take some pictures with me camera! enjoy!
Friday, July 15, 2011
Begonias
What are you happy to have accomplished this week even if it's crazy big or ridiculously small?
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Singing Ke$ha
These are my twins. They are 6 years old. They love music. Particularly Ke$ha ... don't hate on that ... I'm fully aware her lyrics are a bit ...ahemmm, mature for my sweet little ones, however, at least they don't know ALL the words and let's face it this is just too darn cute. I think I actually paused cooking dinner for the Tribe (now that's really saying something!) to catch this mini-performance on camera.
If you're a parent of young children I'd love to hear how you deal with inappropriate lyrics on the radio?
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Children need Loveys, Parents need to be Lucky
(this article appears in the 7/12/11 edition of the Review Atlas as a part of my weekly Practical Parenting series)
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When Chinka is missing my entire house gets turned upside down in search of her whereabouts. It’s true. All seven of us must immediately stop what we are doing and search frantically for her. And by frantically I mean fever pitch full tilt effort! Who is Chinka? Glad you asked.
Chinka is life sized, white, stuffed cat and she is my six-year-old’s lovey. Chinka is filthy, ragged, old and missing a nose. She’s literally been loved till it hurts. Chinka is also precious and extremely imperative to my daughter’s healthy sleeping habits (and mine by association)!
If you’re a parent you understand what I am talking about. Some studies indicate that almost 70% of all children have become attached to a special doll, animal, pacifier or blanket and child development experts say that it is a healthy habit.
Many parents worry that children who are attached to loveys are showing signs of stress or anxiety but actually the opposite is true. Most children use their items of affection as a transitional tool, that is, it becomes a way to help them cope during stressful situations. When mom or dad must leave for work, for example, a lovey can offer reassurance during that difficult goodbye. Many children rely on special blankets and stuffed animals particularly during the night as a way to cope from being away from their parents while sleeping.
Experienced moms have duplicate loveys in case one ever goes missing but this plan can often backfire as parents usually have no influence over what item becomes a favorite. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, most children choose for themselves a security item between the ages of eight and twelve months. That means parents must be crafty and observe when a child is showing signs of attachment. It’s the smart ones that go out and buy four backup blankies in case one ever gets misplaced.
If only it were that easy.
Most children intuitively believe their animal or blankie posses a unique essence or life force. Your child may or may not understand that their item is not alive but regardless they will treat it as if it is. Which is why I have never been able to pull off a successful bait and switch when Chinka goes missing.
Interestingly, a study done at the University of Bristol in March of 2007 found that children can tell the difference between their lovey and an exact replica. In the experiment children ages 3-6 years old were asked to bring their attached item to a lab where they were shown a copier cabinet that could duplicate any item put inside. In one box a green block was placed and within moments a second, identical block appeared in a neighboring cabinet. Children were then asked if they would place their item in the cabinet. Of the 22 children who did have attachment objects, four stubbornly refused to allow them to be copied at all. Of the 18 who did let their precious items be copied only five opted to keep the "duplicate".
All this information is a very, sharp double-edged sword. It means parents who have children with loveys don’t have to worry that their children are showing signs of some sort of psychological turmoil unless of course that very same item should ever become lost…which of course it will. I know because my whole world has shifted on it’s axis once or twice when Chinka has been missing.
The American Academy of Pediatrics (I wonder; do they have kids?) remind us that security blankets are just a natural part of growing up and will eventually be given up. The only trauma comes when we tease our children about their item of affection or pressure them to let go of them before they are ready.
So good luck mom and dad. I hope you never experience the neuroticism that comes when your child becomes attached to a lovey. I hope you never loose it, accidentally wash it or sell it at a garage sale. And God forbid if you do ….well, you too can join my club and kiss your sweet dreams goodbye. Why? Because I’m the mom and I said so! That’s why!
Chinka is life sized, white, stuffed cat and she is my six-year-old’s lovey. Chinka is filthy, ragged, old and missing a nose. She’s literally been loved till it hurts. Chinka is also precious and extremely imperative to my daughter’s healthy sleeping habits (and mine by association)!
If you’re a parent you understand what I am talking about. Some studies indicate that almost 70% of all children have become attached to a special doll, animal, pacifier or blanket and child development experts say that it is a healthy habit.
Many parents worry that children who are attached to loveys are showing signs of stress or anxiety but actually the opposite is true. Most children use their items of affection as a transitional tool, that is, it becomes a way to help them cope during stressful situations. When mom or dad must leave for work, for example, a lovey can offer reassurance during that difficult goodbye. Many children rely on special blankets and stuffed animals particularly during the night as a way to cope from being away from their parents while sleeping.
Experienced moms have duplicate loveys in case one ever goes missing but this plan can often backfire as parents usually have no influence over what item becomes a favorite. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, most children choose for themselves a security item between the ages of eight and twelve months. That means parents must be crafty and observe when a child is showing signs of attachment. It’s the smart ones that go out and buy four backup blankies in case one ever gets misplaced.
If only it were that easy.
Most children intuitively believe their animal or blankie posses a unique essence or life force. Your child may or may not understand that their item is not alive but regardless they will treat it as if it is. Which is why I have never been able to pull off a successful bait and switch when Chinka goes missing.
Interestingly, a study done at the University of Bristol in March of 2007 found that children can tell the difference between their lovey and an exact replica. In the experiment children ages 3-6 years old were asked to bring their attached item to a lab where they were shown a copier cabinet that could duplicate any item put inside. In one box a green block was placed and within moments a second, identical block appeared in a neighboring cabinet. Children were then asked if they would place their item in the cabinet. Of the 22 children who did have attachment objects, four stubbornly refused to allow them to be copied at all. Of the 18 who did let their precious items be copied only five opted to keep the "duplicate".
All this information is a very, sharp double-edged sword. It means parents who have children with loveys don’t have to worry that their children are showing signs of some sort of psychological turmoil unless of course that very same item should ever become lost…which of course it will. I know because my whole world has shifted on it’s axis once or twice when Chinka has been missing.
The American Academy of Pediatrics (I wonder; do they have kids?) remind us that security blankets are just a natural part of growing up and will eventually be given up. The only trauma comes when we tease our children about their item of affection or pressure them to let go of them before they are ready.
So good luck mom and dad. I hope you never experience the neuroticism that comes when your child becomes attached to a lovey. I hope you never loose it, accidentally wash it or sell it at a garage sale. And God forbid if you do ….well, you too can join my club and kiss your sweet dreams goodbye. Why? Because I’m the mom and I said so! That’s why!
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Story Elements - Scene (pt 2)
So now that you understand the importance of scene in a story and in your life (if you don't review yesterday's blog entry) now what?
The way I see it most of us either:
a. like the scene just fine right where we are
or
b. wish the Big Director in the sky would yell "Cut!" and a big arm on a ? would slam down.
I bet most of us would go with b.
But it's just a hunch.
I used to wallow in that kind of thinking too:
Some of us are just afraid to.
What if I get it wrong?
What if it wasn't God's will?
What if ....
What if it is His will? What if some changes require us to be actively involved in the process? Instead some of us get stuck staring up at the sky for change to happen as if it's miraculous. Sure miracles happen but your bush is on fire, your donkey talks to you or you're a virgin about to give birth to the Messiah, I'm pretty sure it's ok for you to make a choice and set a course for your future.
If you get it wrong .... or if you actually do make a bad decision ... well, if your heart is set towards your Maker will it have been a mistake? or will it be a part of your story that He uses to show you the power of redemption and mercy? (what's that? stay tuned, we'll get to that part of the story too!)
There's one more thing: some scenes you can't change. We need to recognize that. This is very important. Many of us spend time regretting things that while they may indeed be regrettable, aren't changeable.
You can't change the past.
You cannot.
You can't not marry that person, ungive birth, erase that experience off your resume, change who your parents were or who you were when you drank too much...
Changing the scene in your life doesn't require changing where you have been....it's changing where you are going. If you need it.
I believe it's possible to learn to be content in the scene of life you are living now. I believe you can come to grips with all that's happened to bring you to this point and I believe you can have hope for the future story yet untold.
Because scene is important. If you don't like the scene being created in your story do something about it. Create a better one surrounded by the people you love, the people who love you. Because without a scene there is no story to be told.
The way I see it most of us either:
a. like the scene just fine right where we are
or
b. wish the Big Director in the sky would yell "Cut!" and a big arm on a ? would slam down.
I bet most of us would go with b.
But it's just a hunch.
I used to wallow in that kind of thinking too:
- if I only didn't live in this small town
- if I only I had a different house
- if only I had a different job
- if only I had a different life
- if only ...
- if only ...
- if only ...
Some of us are just afraid to.
What if I get it wrong?
What if it wasn't God's will?
What if ....
What if it is His will? What if some changes require us to be actively involved in the process? Instead some of us get stuck staring up at the sky for change to happen as if it's miraculous. Sure miracles happen but your bush is on fire, your donkey talks to you or you're a virgin about to give birth to the Messiah, I'm pretty sure it's ok for you to make a choice and set a course for your future.
If you get it wrong .... or if you actually do make a bad decision ... well, if your heart is set towards your Maker will it have been a mistake? or will it be a part of your story that He uses to show you the power of redemption and mercy? (what's that? stay tuned, we'll get to that part of the story too!)
There's one more thing: some scenes you can't change. We need to recognize that. This is very important. Many of us spend time regretting things that while they may indeed be regrettable, aren't changeable.
You can't change the past.
You cannot.
You can't not marry that person, ungive birth, erase that experience off your resume, change who your parents were or who you were when you drank too much...
Changing the scene in your life doesn't require changing where you have been....it's changing where you are going. If you need it.
I believe it's possible to learn to be content in the scene of life you are living now. I believe you can come to grips with all that's happened to bring you to this point and I believe you can have hope for the future story yet untold.
Because scene is important. If you don't like the scene being created in your story do something about it. Create a better one surrounded by the people you love, the people who love you. Because without a scene there is no story to be told.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Story Elements - Scene
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| image from disney-desktop-wallpaper.com |
Scene is where the story takes place.
Some stories have many different scenes.
Some stories have a scene.
There cannot be a story without a scene.
It's true, have you every watched a movie and the screenplay happened nowhere? Of course not! A story has to happen somewhere!
The Bible, like any good book, has a great opening scene: the Garden of Paradise. It's where we learn that God created a human being who had the awesome privilege of being in direct relationship with God. The Garden is the setting (or scene) where we learn:
- of God's love for His creation
- about the purpose of man & woman
- about the responsibility we have to the earth &
- about the power of choice, trust and discipline
It's got all the elements of a really great story. Knowing and understanding this gives us the ability to believe that God not only understands the elements of story but that He's the actual author of story. Which means while you too are on this earth, you've been set into a scene of the story of the human race. You're a part of His story!
And you can't possibly be a part of His story and not have significance or meaning. I mean if God is the author of story and your life is a part of that story .... isn't that incredibly, well ... cool?
So if He authors story, and I believe He authors my story, then I must believe that where my story plays out is also significant.
But what if you don't like your scene? What if you're trying to escape your location?
or
Maybe you're lucky enough to enjoy where you are living out your story. Are you?
What do you do then? More on that tomorrow!
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Story Elements
Scene.
Character.
Conflict.
Climax.
Resolution.
These are the elements of every story. I mean imagine a story that takes place, well, nowhere.
Can you imagine it? No, really, try .......
It can't be done. A story can't happen without a location or scene. You need a garden or a home or a hospital room.
Every story needs a character: preferably one we love or love to hate. The characters we root for have conflicts that we hope they will overcome. Our eyes become riveted to the screen as they face their abusive father, or are tempted with a bottle of alcohol or weep at the grave of a loved one.
These are story elements and as I was reminded at The Storyline Conference last month, the same things that make up a good story also make a good life. Scene, character, conflict, climax .... all make up a good movie or book but a life.
Your life.
My life.
So how can we carve a great story out of lives...
from where we are (scene), with our family (characters), who mistreat us (conflict) despite the awesome new job we just landed (climax)?
How can we? More on this very question tomorrow!
Character.
Conflict.
Climax.
Resolution.
These are the elements of every story. I mean imagine a story that takes place, well, nowhere.
Can you imagine it? No, really, try .......
It can't be done. A story can't happen without a location or scene. You need a garden or a home or a hospital room.
Every story needs a character: preferably one we love or love to hate. The characters we root for have conflicts that we hope they will overcome. Our eyes become riveted to the screen as they face their abusive father, or are tempted with a bottle of alcohol or weep at the grave of a loved one.
These are story elements and as I was reminded at The Storyline Conference last month, the same things that make up a good story also make a good life. Scene, character, conflict, climax .... all make up a good movie or book but a life.
Your life.
My life.
So how can we carve a great story out of lives...
from where we are (scene), with our family (characters), who mistreat us (conflict) despite the awesome new job we just landed (climax)?
How can we? More on this very question tomorrow!
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Good News Parents! Stress is Inevitiable!
(as seen in the 7/5/11 edition of The Review Atlas as a part of my weekly Practical Parenting series)
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Are you stressed out? Most of us admit that we are stressed to some degree about something. Stress can be dangerous too, as it is a leading cause of many serious health problems. Which is bad news for parents. Parents, in case you didn’t know, are always and forever stressed.
We are stressed before we even give birth. What color should the nursery be? Will I need pain relieving drugs? Will my water break in public? What if my baby’s allergic to peanuts?
Then we actually advent into the job of parenting and we worry if they are still breathing, eat too much, poop too little and what position is the safest for sleeping. And that’s only in the first year of life! Temper tantrums, potty training, preschool, high school, boyfriends, girlfriends, honor roll, driver’s licenses … none of that has even happened yet!
According to marketing guru Seth Godin, stress is the tension that happens when you simultaneously do and don’t want to do something. You want to teach your toddler to use the bathroom but you don’t want to deal with the accidents. You want your feverish child to get better but worry about giving her too much medicine. You want your teenager to take driver’s education classes but you really don’t want them cruising around town with a car full of friends.
At the 2011 Chick-fil-a LeaderCast, conference Godin reminds us that we don’t usually get stressed out over eating lunch. Why? It’s because there’s no drama in choosing to satisfy your hunger. If, however, you go out to eat at a new restaurant you may experience stress because you want to eat but don’t know what to order off an unfamiliar menu.
What all this means is that stress is most likely inevitable. As long as you’re alive there is an ongoing tension in life. This is especially true for those of us in the parenthood.
So what can we do?
Well for starters take a deep breath. No, seriously, take a deep breath. Increasing the amount of oxygen into your system can help clear the mind and regulate your breathing and we all function better when we are calm and thinking clearly.
Before you lose your last nerve on that incredibly annoying behavior your child is displaying, take a breath and then think through your response in your head. Too often we respond and deal out punishments from our points of stress rather than mature reasoning.
When you choose to respond to your child make sure you choose meaningful and relevant words. "I’m never cooking dinner for you again if you keep acting like that!" is a completely ineffective statement. Granted, you may actually feel that way but it does nothing to further the goal of getting your child to eat their dinner.
Also, don’t ask your child questions you don’t really want the answer to: "Are you even listening to me?", "Do you want me to come over there and ring your neck?" or "What were you thinking?"
Your kids will stress you out. There is no doubt about it, no way to get around it. When you became a parent you opened a mysterious portal into the simultaneously joyous and most stressful job of your life. Deal with it. Stop complaining about it. Stop avoiding it. Buck up and be brave enough to tackle the job.
Be brave enough to recognize the stress of, being the parent you wish you were and the parent you actually are, and use that harsh force of reality to propel you into being a better Mommy of Daddy.
So for those of you out they’re who are prone to stressful dispositions, may this article be a small encouragement for you. None, absolutely none of us, can eliminate stress from our lives. But that’s good news because kids don’t need perfect parents. They need present parents. Learn to function in the tension of what you want to do and what you can do and you’ll be a shining example of health to your child. This is what makes parenting worth it! Why? Because I’m the mom and I said so! That’s why!
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We are stressed before we even give birth. What color should the nursery be? Will I need pain relieving drugs? Will my water break in public? What if my baby’s allergic to peanuts?
Then we actually advent into the job of parenting and we worry if they are still breathing, eat too much, poop too little and what position is the safest for sleeping. And that’s only in the first year of life! Temper tantrums, potty training, preschool, high school, boyfriends, girlfriends, honor roll, driver’s licenses … none of that has even happened yet!
According to marketing guru Seth Godin, stress is the tension that happens when you simultaneously do and don’t want to do something. You want to teach your toddler to use the bathroom but you don’t want to deal with the accidents. You want your feverish child to get better but worry about giving her too much medicine. You want your teenager to take driver’s education classes but you really don’t want them cruising around town with a car full of friends.
At the 2011 Chick-fil-a LeaderCast, conference Godin reminds us that we don’t usually get stressed out over eating lunch. Why? It’s because there’s no drama in choosing to satisfy your hunger. If, however, you go out to eat at a new restaurant you may experience stress because you want to eat but don’t know what to order off an unfamiliar menu.
What all this means is that stress is most likely inevitable. As long as you’re alive there is an ongoing tension in life. This is especially true for those of us in the parenthood.
So what can we do?
Well for starters take a deep breath. No, seriously, take a deep breath. Increasing the amount of oxygen into your system can help clear the mind and regulate your breathing and we all function better when we are calm and thinking clearly.
Before you lose your last nerve on that incredibly annoying behavior your child is displaying, take a breath and then think through your response in your head. Too often we respond and deal out punishments from our points of stress rather than mature reasoning.
When you choose to respond to your child make sure you choose meaningful and relevant words. "I’m never cooking dinner for you again if you keep acting like that!" is a completely ineffective statement. Granted, you may actually feel that way but it does nothing to further the goal of getting your child to eat their dinner.
Also, don’t ask your child questions you don’t really want the answer to: "Are you even listening to me?", "Do you want me to come over there and ring your neck?" or "What were you thinking?"
Your kids will stress you out. There is no doubt about it, no way to get around it. When you became a parent you opened a mysterious portal into the simultaneously joyous and most stressful job of your life. Deal with it. Stop complaining about it. Stop avoiding it. Buck up and be brave enough to tackle the job.
Be brave enough to recognize the stress of, being the parent you wish you were and the parent you actually are, and use that harsh force of reality to propel you into being a better Mommy of Daddy.
So for those of you out they’re who are prone to stressful dispositions, may this article be a small encouragement for you. None, absolutely none of us, can eliminate stress from our lives. But that’s good news because kids don’t need perfect parents. They need present parents. Learn to function in the tension of what you want to do and what you can do and you’ll be a shining example of health to your child. This is what makes parenting worth it! Why? Because I’m the mom and I said so! That’s why!
Monday, July 4, 2011
Stress
I am working on my piece for Tuesday's edition of The Review Atlas and my Practical Parenting article. Yesterday's blog and the video with Seth Godin has really gotten me thinking about stress.
What stresses you out?
Godin says that stress is what happens when you simultaneously do and don't want to do something.
Isn't this right?
Isn't this what causes stress?
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So it's got me thinking:
What if I can't eliminate stress from my life........ unless of course I'm willing to stop wanting anything..... which I don't think I'm willing to do.
I mean I want to travel.
I want write.
I want to raise kids who want to make a difference.
I want to be loved.
I want to be liked.
I want ....
All of these things take risks.
In order to travel I hafta leave,
in order to write I have to publicly publish my thoughts,
in order to be loved I have to risk giving love....
So the question becomes not: How do I eliminate stress from my life?
but
What do I really, really want to do/be/experience?
What do you think? Can stress be eliminated? Should it?
What stresses you out?
Godin says that stress is what happens when you simultaneously do and don't want to do something.
- When you do want to travel but worry that planes are unsafe
- When you want to be a parent but are afraid you'll botch your kid up
- When you want to go on vacation but know it means you need a swimsuit
Isn't this right?
Isn't this what causes stress?
What if I can't eliminate stress from my life........ unless of course I'm willing to stop wanting anything..... which I don't think I'm willing to do.
I mean I want to travel.
I want write.
I want to raise kids who want to make a difference.
I want to be loved.
I want to be liked.
I want ....
All of these things take risks.
In order to travel I hafta leave,
in order to write I have to publicly publish my thoughts,
in order to be loved I have to risk giving love....
So the question becomes not: How do I eliminate stress from my life?
but
What do I really, really want to do/be/experience?
What do you think? Can stress be eliminated? Should it?
Saturday, July 2, 2011
I have just gotten some of the best news of the year -to date!
This blog began almost a year ago because I made the conscious decision to pursue my dream of writing.
Questions I am regularly asked:
What do you want to write? (everything I know a lot about)
What will your book be about? (someday)
I'd like to think that this blog has been a bit of a training ground for me! A chance to practice my writing skills, place to work out my thoughts and hopefully pick up a few faithful readers along the way (for encouragement).
Today though, I took some time to go back through all the bloggers I follow and catch up on about a week's worth of stuff I wanted to read! That's when I came across this on Michael Hyatt's blog:
Backstage with Seth Godin from Michael Hyatt on Vimeo.
I'll save you the time of explaining who Seth Godin is (google him in your spare time) but let's just say he's pretty much a marketing genius.... and the bearer of my own personal Good News!
His advice to wanna-be writers like me, give away your first book. GIVE IT AWAY !?! Say what? The way of publishers and publishing companies is the way of dinosaurs. If you want to be a successful writer you write your first book, save it in a PDF and then email it to your 20 closest friends and loved ones. If they like it they'll forward it on to 20 people, if they don't you're probably not a good writer and you shouldn't pursue writing. If they do like it and those 400 people each forward it on to another 20 then that's 8,000 readers who got your book for free. Suddenly you've gone come out from obscurity and Godin says, the publishers will be lining up out your door for your next book!
How much relief does this give me? I'm so small. So rural! So...nobody with no connections. But if I can write well....and get it all down.....and email it to you....and you like it....then my dream (!!), my dream of making a difference with my words will come true!
The dog days are over my friends....I got some serious work to do!
What do you think? Is that a crazy notion? Should you give away your first baby? Lemme hear your thoughts:
This blog began almost a year ago because I made the conscious decision to pursue my dream of writing.
Questions I am regularly asked:
What do you want to write? (everything I know a lot about)
What will your book be about? (someday)
I'd like to think that this blog has been a bit of a training ground for me! A chance to practice my writing skills, place to work out my thoughts and hopefully pick up a few faithful readers along the way (for encouragement).
Today though, I took some time to go back through all the bloggers I follow and catch up on about a week's worth of stuff I wanted to read! That's when I came across this on Michael Hyatt's blog:
Backstage with Seth Godin from Michael Hyatt on Vimeo.
I'll save you the time of explaining who Seth Godin is (google him in your spare time) but let's just say he's pretty much a marketing genius.... and the bearer of my own personal Good News!
His advice to wanna-be writers like me, give away your first book. GIVE IT AWAY !?! Say what? The way of publishers and publishing companies is the way of dinosaurs. If you want to be a successful writer you write your first book, save it in a PDF and then email it to your 20 closest friends and loved ones. If they like it they'll forward it on to 20 people, if they don't you're probably not a good writer and you shouldn't pursue writing. If they do like it and those 400 people each forward it on to another 20 then that's 8,000 readers who got your book for free. Suddenly you've gone come out from obscurity and Godin says, the publishers will be lining up out your door for your next book!
How much relief does this give me? I'm so small. So rural! So...nobody with no connections. But if I can write well....and get it all down.....and email it to you....and you like it....then my dream (!!), my dream of making a difference with my words will come true!
The dog days are over my friends....I got some serious work to do!
What do you think? Is that a crazy notion? Should you give away your first baby? Lemme hear your thoughts:
Friday, July 1, 2011
Parents Should Unplug Too!
(as seen in the 6/28/11 edition of The Review Atlas as a part of my weekly Practical Parenting series)
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I love my Blackberry. I carry a laptop. My family owns gaming systems, DVD and mp3 players as well and have downloaded dozens of apps. When I say the word "screen" in a conversation with my parents they think I'm talking about the netting on my window that keeps out bugs. But to my children "screen" could mean any one of our electronic gadgets or television sets. Talk about a generation gap!
Recently while traveling we stopped off at a fast food restaurant for a bathroom break and a bite to eat. As I entered the establishment I took a quick survey looking for the restrooms. I immediately located my target but not before noticing a woman sitting in a booth with her food and an open laptop.
Isn't it great all the establishments that are offering customers free WiFi access? You see, I get a kick out of working lunches. I can socialize with my colleagues and simultaneously knock out some work. Multitasking done rightl is one of my favorite things on the planet!!
I was, however, quickly saddened as I observed this lap-topped woman. She was sitting with two young boys and while she was typing away on her keyboard they were silently eating their food and fingering their kid’s meal prize. There was no conversation. There was no interaction and no eye contact. The only thing they had in common was the fact that they were gathered around the same table. They all looked kind of ...........pathetic.
I became curious as to what the woman was feverishly working on. I wondered what could be so important that she couldn’t even look up from her screen. Was she a writer working on a climactic chapter? Could she be in email negotiations for a promotion? Maybe she was paying bills online. I decided I just had to know what she was up to. So after collecting my food I planned to strategically walk past her table and sneak a peak at her screen.
My heart pounded as I went out of my way feigning an exit. Why was I feeling so uncharacteristically nosy? Were my shenanigans obvious? Why was I so bothered with this stranger’s attention on her computer?
There was no mistaking the classic blue and white pattern on her screen. It was Facebook. She was logged into social media enraptured with virtual conversations. She was ignoring the people (were those her sons?) in her immediate environment for an alternate reality.
And as appalled as I was at her behavior I was even more disheartened at a painful truth; she could have been me. I've ignored my children when my Blackberry blinks. I've half listened to other people's stories so I can update my status. I read emails while pretending to carry on a conversation. I've put up screens between me and the faces of my children. The truth is I saw in that woman what I look like and I was mortified.
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You can tweet, Facebook, text or email me. You can comment on my blog, leave me a voice message and messenger me. Which begs the question: Have I really made it easier for you to get my attention than I have for my own kids? God help me if I’ve allowed social media to take precedence over the real people and real relationships in my real time life.
First and foremost we can create better habits by setting down our devices. Power it down or put the phone away. Break the need to carry it with you twenty-four/seven. Stop narcissistically staring at it to see if it's beeping or blinking. And if that's too much of a stretch for you, at least begin by setting it down when your children are talking to you. Literally put it down and turn your body to face the person who needs your attention.
If you work on a computer like I do it’s a good idea to practice removing your hands from the keyboard when someone requires your attention. I am pretty good at looking like I am listening but the truth is I’m usually faking it. I can't fully comprehend what you are saying when my fingers are flying across the keyboard. If you are genuinely at risk of losing an important thought during an interruption finish the sentence you are typing by all means but as soon as you get to the period pick up your fingers and look at the person who's speaking to you.
Honest to goodness as I typed these very words your reading my six-year-old daughter approached me and asked me to read aloud to her from a library book. If I’m brutally honest I’ll admit that I didn’t want to stop writing and read to her. I have deadlines after all. But what is more important my screen or my child? Which is more valuable my work or my little work in progress?
In this day and age screens are everywhere. We have access to more information than ever and it can be quite addicting (Blackberrys aren’t nicknamed Crackberrys for no reason, you know). But let us not loose sight of what is real and what is really important. Don't allow the blinks, dings and status updates to take precedence in the real world. If you're virtual world ever becomes more important to you than a lunch date with your child you need to unplug quick. Because a happy meal ain't happy if they have to share it with a screen. Why? Because I'm the mom and I said so! That's why!
I love my Blackberry. I carry a laptop. My family owns gaming systems, DVD and mp3 players as well and have downloaded dozens of apps. When I say the word "screen" in a conversation with my parents they think I'm talking about the netting on my window that keeps out bugs. But to my children "screen" could mean any one of our electronic gadgets or television sets. Talk about a generation gap!
Recently while traveling we stopped off at a fast food restaurant for a bathroom break and a bite to eat. As I entered the establishment I took a quick survey looking for the restrooms. I immediately located my target but not before noticing a woman sitting in a booth with her food and an open laptop.
Isn't it great all the establishments that are offering customers free WiFi access? You see, I get a kick out of working lunches. I can socialize with my colleagues and simultaneously knock out some work. Multitasking done rightl is one of my favorite things on the planet!!
I was, however, quickly saddened as I observed this lap-topped woman. She was sitting with two young boys and while she was typing away on her keyboard they were silently eating their food and fingering their kid’s meal prize. There was no conversation. There was no interaction and no eye contact. The only thing they had in common was the fact that they were gathered around the same table. They all looked kind of ...........pathetic.
I became curious as to what the woman was feverishly working on. I wondered what could be so important that she couldn’t even look up from her screen. Was she a writer working on a climactic chapter? Could she be in email negotiations for a promotion? Maybe she was paying bills online. I decided I just had to know what she was up to. So after collecting my food I planned to strategically walk past her table and sneak a peak at her screen.
My heart pounded as I went out of my way feigning an exit. Why was I feeling so uncharacteristically nosy? Were my shenanigans obvious? Why was I so bothered with this stranger’s attention on her computer?
There was no mistaking the classic blue and white pattern on her screen. It was Facebook. She was logged into social media enraptured with virtual conversations. She was ignoring the people (were those her sons?) in her immediate environment for an alternate reality.
And as appalled as I was at her behavior I was even more disheartened at a painful truth; she could have been me. I've ignored my children when my Blackberry blinks. I've half listened to other people's stories so I can update my status. I read emails while pretending to carry on a conversation. I've put up screens between me and the faces of my children. The truth is I saw in that woman what I look like and I was mortified.
First and foremost we can create better habits by setting down our devices. Power it down or put the phone away. Break the need to carry it with you twenty-four/seven. Stop narcissistically staring at it to see if it's beeping or blinking. And if that's too much of a stretch for you, at least begin by setting it down when your children are talking to you. Literally put it down and turn your body to face the person who needs your attention.
If you work on a computer like I do it’s a good idea to practice removing your hands from the keyboard when someone requires your attention. I am pretty good at looking like I am listening but the truth is I’m usually faking it. I can't fully comprehend what you are saying when my fingers are flying across the keyboard. If you are genuinely at risk of losing an important thought during an interruption finish the sentence you are typing by all means but as soon as you get to the period pick up your fingers and look at the person who's speaking to you.
Honest to goodness as I typed these very words your reading my six-year-old daughter approached me and asked me to read aloud to her from a library book. If I’m brutally honest I’ll admit that I didn’t want to stop writing and read to her. I have deadlines after all. But what is more important my screen or my child? Which is more valuable my work or my little work in progress?
In this day and age screens are everywhere. We have access to more information than ever and it can be quite addicting (Blackberrys aren’t nicknamed Crackberrys for no reason, you know). But let us not loose sight of what is real and what is really important. Don't allow the blinks, dings and status updates to take precedence in the real world. If you're virtual world ever becomes more important to you than a lunch date with your child you need to unplug quick. Because a happy meal ain't happy if they have to share it with a screen. Why? Because I'm the mom and I said so! That's why!
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